


The Problem with Love

by Remsyk



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emanored aliens, Everyone Loves Hunk, Gen, Lance may be jealous, Lovable Hunk, Surprise unions!!, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:29:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10128431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remsyk/pseuds/Remsyk
Summary: No matter where they went, the people always fell for Hunk. His charm, kindness, and general open personality drew them in like a magnet. But sometimes charm gives way to infatuation, and maybe the Paladins should have a game plan, just in case.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt on tumblr and just had to write something for it. Behold!
> 
> Prompt: Instead of fat Hunk jokes how about a running gag that no matter what planet or galaxy they go to, some alien will always fall irreversibly in love with Hunk for his kindness and open personality and the team has to come up with plans and procedures for what to do when Hunk inevitably gets proposed to on a planet they're trying to form an alliance with.

It was beginning to become a problem.

 

Granted, it was a rather pleasant one, and definitely prefered by all parties involved, but a problem nonetheless.

 

"Guys, I'm really, REALLY sorry."

 

"Hunk, stop, it's not your fault." Shiro said firmly, his voice steady despite their current situation.

 

"But do you know how sorry I am?" Hunk lamented, speaking as though Shiro hadn't replied. "How could I have know that was a formal proposal?"

 

"Hunk! Running now, regrets later!" Keith snapped tightly.

 

"All I wanted was a little bit of food! Is that really so much to ask?"

 

"For the love of quiznak, Hunk, we get it!" Lance shouted as he dodged another projectile.

 

The problem, or rather, the source of the problem, was that everyone loved Hunk. It didn't matter which planet they landed on or how strange the alien life looked, acted, or sounded. Every one of them were charmed by his cheerful nature and kind heart. In most cases, their fascination allowed for smooth negotiations.

 

In others... Well, some were more enamoured with the yellow paladin than others.

 

The first time it happened, it had been an unexpected, and rather awkward, surprise. Even Allura, the resident master diplomat, had been unsure of how to diffuse the situation.

 

Hunk had gone from flattered to near blinding panic in the blink of an eye.

 

Lance had found it beyond hilarious and almost had to be resuscitated from laughing himself to hysterics. Pidge had a more controlled response, though she later complained of sore ribs from holding in her snickers for so long. Keith had smirked openly as he leaned back against the nearest wall, settling in for the show.

 

Shiro and Allura wore matching expressions, their smiles shifting from pleasant to strained almost in sync. Hunk would have laughed if he hadn't found the situation so dire.

 

"Um, I don't - That's really, really nice of you to say..." Hunk stammered out, glancing frantically between the ambassadors and Shiro. "Guys, a little help?" He pleaded between strained smiles.

 

Shiro turned around quickly as he slapped a hand to his mouth, smothering the snort that shook his broad shoulders.

 

"Shiro! Oh my god, are you laughing at me? Please don't tell me you're laughing at me!" Hunk stage whispered furiously.

 

"No-" Shiro coughed once to clear his throat and turned back, his face considerably more red than before. "No, I would never do that."

 

Hunk's eyes filled with tears as his desperation grew. "Guys!" He whined pitifully.

 

Allura cleared her throat and set a calming hand on the yellow paladin's shoulder as she addressed the ambassador.

 

"That's... quite a flattering offer, and we're very grateful you feel so strongly about the matter, but I don't believe our paladin would be able to completely fulfill the terms of the... engagement." She turned her head away and coughed discreetly into her fist as she schooled her features, setting off another wave of hysterics from Lance. "We're constantly traveling across the universe. They would never be able to see each other."

 

The ambassador nodded slowly as it smiled in understanding. At least, what they hoped was understanding; it was difficult to tell through the multiple rolls of skin hanging down their face. "We are well aware of his obligations, and our diplomat is more than willing to wait." Its smile turned sly as it narrowed its multiple eyes. "Of course, there is always the option of bringing his spouse on board with you-"

 

Allura cut him off with a loud and clearly forced laugh, hugging Hunk's arm to her chest as he turned dangerously pale. "Oh we couldn't possibly separate them from their home." She chattered nervously. "And besides, it can be very dangerous at times. We wouldn't want to put their life at risk."

 

Luckily, the ambassadors had accepted her explanation and negotiations for the alliance were settled peacefully. Hunk had spent the rest of the visit actively avoiding his intended betrothed, much to the amusement of Pidge and Lance. The blue paladin seized the chance of guaranteed pranks by randomly announcing when he thought he saw the alien, just to see the larger teen jump. Shiro eventually reprimanded Lance before Hunk became a sobbing bundle of nerves, resulting in the yellow paladin practically clinging to Shiro for the remainder the trip.

 

After leaving, the awkward event became a consistent source of amusement for the group, and eventually the good natured ribbing and jokes died down. When it happened again, however, the paladins were surprised, but a bit more prepared than before. The event set off a fresh wave of jokes from Lance, a few from Pidge, and even a jab from Allura, but again, the paladins settled into their normal routine.

 

The amusing inconvenience turned into a minor annoyance after the third and fourth. The fifth marriage proposal had resulted in a duel for Hunk's hand, though he had been allowed to pick a champion to fight on his behalf. Hunk had employed the full force of his puppy dog eyes as he tearfully requested Keith's assistance, to which the red paladin had happily agreed. Luckily, Keith had stopped just short of insulting their hosts when he easily bested their champion, much to the relief for both Hunk and Allura, though for very different reasons. By the sixth incident - for the sake of the alliance - Allura and Shiro decided to sit the paladins down and work out a contingency plan.

 

Hunk sat dejectedly on the couch, slouching like he intended to melt straight through the cushions. "I don't know why this keeps happening. I'm really sorry."

 

Allura sighed from her place above the couch, relaxing her stern posture slightly. "There is no need to apologize for who you are, Hunk. We are not here to pass judgement, we are here to work out a plan to handle these situations."

 

"Allow me to begin by pointing out how unfair this is!" Lance pouted. He was sprawled across the couch beside Hunk, one leg perched across the top of the cushions as he propped his head up on his fist. "I'm way more suave and composed than he is, and yet he gets all the girls, guys, whatever!"

 

"Some of these races have very different ideas than you about what is suave," Coran nodded sagely as he addressed the blue paladin. "I once recall an envoy of Plertumites almost declaring war on Altea because they were insulted by King Alfor's facial hair!" He laughed loudly as he recalled the event. "Ah, our poor King had almost shaved it off right then and there had our chancellor not stepped in."

 

"The problem we're having is that most aliens are... fond of Hunk." Shiro crossed with his arms over his chest. "However, it would be unfair to exclude you from our negotiations. In addition, it would weaken the unifying message of Voltron if only four of five paladins were present."

 

"So what do we do? We can't just bring him along bound and gagged." Keith frowned as he spoke, his posture mirroring Shiro's.

 

"Oh no, it's cool guys. I don't mind staying back." Hunk perked up at the idea. "You could give them some excuse like, 'There is always a need for one of us to watch our backs. An attack could happen at any time.'" Hunk closed his eyes as he clenched his fist dramatically during his speech. He suddenly opened his eyes and shrugged. "Or you could just say I'm sick with some deadly disease, like an all consuming need to eat everything in sight, friendly or otherwise."

 

"You have that anyway," Pidge deadpanned.

 

"Hey! They don't know that!" Hunk retorted, turning his nose away with a sniff.

 

"I believe the best course of action is to enforce the story of a strict paladin code, one that does not allow for outside distractions or attachments." Allura suggested with a sigh.

 

Keith wrinkled his nose. "That's... pretty cold, actually. It makes us sound conceited."

 

"Unattainable," Shiro added, frowning as he spoke even as he nodded slowly. "It would enforce the idea that we have a greater calling, and thus need to devote our entire focus to the cause."

 

"So basically we're playing a universal game of hard to get," Lance slouched further onto the couch, sliding his head off his fist to land with a soft thump. "I'll never get a space lady."

 

Pidge snorted and rolled her eyes. "You weren't going to get one anyway."

 

Lance surged up in his seat to face the smirking green paladin. "Hey! Just what are you implying?"

 

The rest of the meeting devolved into an argument over the plausibility of Lance landing a 'space lady', which only resulted in Keith leaving with a huff of annoyance, Coran slipping out to check some obscure tech on the ship, Allura suddenly remembering something with the mice, and Shiro leaning his head back against the cushions, closing his eyes against the growing headache.

 

Life moved on inside the castle, accented by brief rescue missions of various broken down vessels, small skirmishes with Galra scouts, and a sightseeing tour of a Weblum's leftover building blocks.

 

Poop. We're flying through worm poop. Lance had corrected.

 

The incidents regarding Hunk were pulled sharply to the forefront following the success of their current mission. The ship had picked up a distress signal regarding the hostile takeover of a planet's sacred temple by the Galra, and Voltron had swept in to save the day, liberating the temple and its acolytes.

 

The alien race, known as Scalpetes, were a large and foreboding people, with round barrel chests and thick limbs. The only noticeable difference between the males and females were that the females had two sets of arms, stacked on top of each other. They seemed to constantly glare from under their heavy brows, though their wide smiles almost split their heads in two.

 

As a show of gratitude for saving the temple, the Scalpetes threw a massive feast within the temple, showing off a continuous stream fighters, dancers, and musicians for the paladin's entertainment.

 

While Allura spoke with the chieftain, the others mingled with the locals. They shared a mutual fascination for Pidge, often remarking on her tiny stature, making the green paladin increasingly uncomfortable until Hunk stepped in.

 

Unfortunately, his interference only served to further heighten the obsession, as they began to view Hunk, with his similar build and bulk, as her keeper. However, with a long winded explanation and a lot of pacifying words for Pidge, he was able to diffuse the situation.

 

The feast eventually began to die out, and the exhausted paladins sat sprawled around the table in various stages of awareness.

 

The leader of the tribe rose to address the relaxed guests. “Paladins, we have one last offering to give you before we close the day.”

 

With a flourish, he stood aside as the head priestess brought around a large goblet. Behind her, another priestess carried a large platter stacked with multi colored wafers.

  
“Paladins, in honor of your brave efforts to save our people, we offer you our traditional food.”

  
Shiro sat up straighter as he eyed the offerings. “I think we're going to have to decline. If I eat anymore, I'm going to explode.”

  
“Ditto, I am stuffed.” Lance held his stomach carefully.

  
The others echoed the sentiment.

  
“We insist. You only need take one wafer.”

  
Shiro smothered a sigh and grabbed the top wafer, eyeing the bright green color cautiously. The others followed his example with their own hesitation. A quick nibble later, the paladins were a collection of blanching, dry heaves, and desperate gulps of water.

  
“Oh, I'll give try it! It looks good.” Hunk accepted the gifts with a wide smile, stuffing a few wafers in his mouth and washing it down with the goblet.

  
“Hm, slightly saltier than expected, though it sets off the sweetness of the wine quite nicely.” He commented as he licked his fingers.

  
Lance boggled as he drained his own cup of water quickly.

  
The priestess beamed at his assessment and turned to the leader.

  
“The paladin has been chosen!”

  
Hunk paused in his chewing. “Chosen?”

  
“Oh yes, only the Chosen One can safely consume the sacred offering.” The priestess beamed at the stunned paladin.

  
Allura slapped on her best diplomatic face and eased between the large teen and the priestess. “It's such an honor that you have found one of our paladins to be worthy of such a prestigious title-”

  
“We must begin the ceremony immediately!” The chieftain proclaimed, throwing his arms out to the cheering crowd.

 

Allura chuckled nervously as Hunk paled, dropping the wafer that was clutched in his hand. “Ceremony?”

 

“The Chosen One must be united with the Priestess before the rise of the fourth moon after consuming the sacred offering,” He explained with a broad smile.

The priestess and her assistants began to gather around the paladins as he spoke.

 

“United?” Hunk choked as his eyes boggled.

 

“What?!” Lance surged forward, shoving an accusing finger at the stunned paladin. “No one is getting united before me!”

 

“No one is getting united, period.” Shiro said firmly, rising to his feet. “Allura, I'm sorry, but we are leaving.”

 

The gathered natives shuffled nervously as they glanced between their chieftain and the paladins.

 

“We cannot allow you to sabotage the Unification!” The chieftain said angrily. “The large one has been chosen!”

 

“I am truly sorry, but the Code of Paladins is first and foremost-”

 

“Enough!” His furious shout cut through Allura's explanation. “You dare defy our sacred rites! You are no longer welcome here!”

 

The remaining teens jumped to their feet as the crowd quickly turned hostile.

 

“Everyone to their lions. Hunk, take the Princess.” Shiro barked.

 

The group quickly loaded into their lions and took off.

 

“Guys, I’m really sorry,” Hunk lamented over the coms. Allura patted his shoulder soothingly.

 

“It's not your fault, Hunk. We had a plan, and we all made it out okay.”

 

“I guess,” He conceded. He pulled his lion up to catch the others just as a thump echoed through the cockpit.

 

“Uh, what was that?” Hunk questioned, glancing around nervously.

 

“Hunk! Get out of there!” Keith suddenly raced across his view, snatching a projectile out of the air.

 

“I'm going, I'm going!!” Hunk gunned his lion as his screen filled with multiple hurtling spears.

 

After a brief stint filled with expletives and curses from the paladins - Pidge, language! - and waxing apologies from Hunk, the team made it safely back to the castle.

 

They trudged onto the control deck where Coran greeted them with a cheery wave, clearly curious as they tossed themselves into their chairs.

 

“So guys, how did it go?”

 

A collective groan answered his inquiry.

 

“I propose Hunk never be allowed to eat food prepared by an alien race.” Pidge groaned from her boneless heap.

 

“I second that motion.” Lance raised a hand then let it drop to the floor.

 

“Third,” Keith croaked.

 

“What?! Guys, that's not fair! What if I starve?” Hunk whined, though he made no move to rise from his seat.

 

“We’ll bring goo from the ship for you,” Shiro answered with a sigh, his head hanging over the back of his chair.

 

“Shiro!”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Solution to Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12363846) by [sedna_mode](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sedna_mode/pseuds/sedna_mode)




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